People regularly underestimate the importance of knowing their values and having a purpose or personal mission to follow. To me, these are foundational and if they are not solid, or if you are tentative about them, then everything that follows will be put in a precarious position.
Decisions fill our daily life. The seemingly inconsequential have a way of becoming monumental, and the ones we fret about and lose sleep over often pan out to be insignificant. Thinking about decision-making is what consumes energy while making the decision reduces stress. The talent and time you invest in worrying about a decision could be redeployed to ensure the better execution of decisions already made.
Instead, people continue to struggle with indecision, frequently because they are attempting to avoid conflict. More likely, they are trying to avoid resolution. Seems silly to say, but in our culture of abundance, people do not want to go without. Resolution means the finality of one thing in favor of the pursuit of something else, and nowadays no one wants to be missing out on something that could be better. Unfortunately, we confuse ‘better‘ with ‘different‘. We forget that once you make a commitment to a decision, there are no longer distractions. You free up available resources to support your judgement, and you can invest your efforts in continuous improvement rather than habitual ‘remove and replace‘.
Having that knowledge may not be enough to reduce indecision for you. That is why I firmly believe knowing your values and purpose are crucial. They form two parts of a three-part process that will help cull your choices.
1. Which option best supports your mission/vision? Eject the ones that don’t. Simple to say, but what if you don’t know your mission? Then any option will do. However, try to define your mission so you’ll have a better filter in the future.
2. Which option most aligns with your values? Don’t choose the things that bring you down the wrong path. There may be lots of reasons, but if you are second and third guessing yourself, you are not acting in alignment with your values. What if an option supports some of your values but not all? That’s why you should make the effort to stack rank your values.
3. Choose love. It may sound too woo-woo for some. All the more reason to follow the rule. Love, in all its permutations, is generous, expansive, patient, kind, hopeful, trusting and ultimately prevails. If you are not picking the option that best expands or creates love, what is your justification? Whose ego are you protecting?
This process will not eradicate indecision from your life, but it will reduce it dramatically. Follow the path that supports your mission, aligns with your values, and comes from or creates love.
You already have love built in, but if you need help finding or creating your values and mission, reach out to me, I’d be happy to assist you.
*Bonus*: Even after you run through the process above, you will sometimes face a decision that still doesn’t feel good. When this happens, it is important to remember how important your attitude is to the outcome.
E+R=O where ‘E’ is an event that occurs, ‘R’ is your response to the event, and ‘O’ is the outcome.
You may have had zero or minimal influence on an event itself. If the event was a +2 but your response to it is a -3, the outcome will be negative. However, if the event was a -3 and your response to it is a +3, you have neutralized its potentially adverse effect. Add a little more positive to your response and you change the outcome into something positive.
It’s not always easy, but I believe it is essential if you want to advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.